Selling Birth

I spent the better part of yesterday attending a birth as a doula. I got the first call from the expectant mom a little after 5 a.m. Just a "heads up" to let me know that she'd been having contractions since 3:30 and they were 5 minutes apart. A follow up call around 7:20, then her husband calling back about 5 minutes later to let me know they were headed to the birth center. I finished my morning routine, drove to work to quickly cancel some appointments, then drove to the birth. It was a long drive complete with backed up traffic, so I arrived around 10:40 a.m. I left the birth center around 10 p.m. It was a long day. I was incredibly honored that they chose to allow me to do this, to participate in this holy and sacred part of their lives.

Imagine my surprise when I read today of a mom "auctioning off" the chance for someone to attend her birth, which was scheduled to be induced this past Friday--for the bargain starting bid of $5000.

I wonder if she got a taker...there were no bidders. She seemed very assured that a high number of hits on the sale meant it was certain to draw a high bid.

As I said, I attended a birth yesterday. But I didn't have to pay them, and I wasn't a stranger. I was their doula. I was their childbirth instructor. I was a trusted adviser. They paid me to attend the birth.

I hope this Ebay-mom had a birth that she enjoyed. But I'm sad that she didn't understand that what a sacred event it is--that she thought it can be auctioned off to the highest bidder. But I suppose that is part and parcel with the society that we live in. Unlike most birthing moms in America, the mom I was assisting was giving birth in a birth center where she likely had met every person who assisted in her birth prior to the actual event. As a doula, I've attended births where the only person the parents had met prior to the birth was me. A parade of nurses, resident obstetricians, and on-call obstetricians that they have never met are in and out of the room. They are exposing the mom's most private parts to bright and shining light, they are insisting that she allow people to touch her in these parts that she would normally not allow anyone but her most intimate partner do.

I wish I could explain to every pregnant couple that birth is a sacred event, and they should guard it as such. Invite only those people that they know, trust, and love. I can't reach every couple. But I can reach some...so I'm doing it, one couple at a time.